More and more often these days I've been comparing things to bricks, or thinking about throwing bricks, to express my opinion of them. I think I'm turning dadaist.
"Pepsi, the choice of a new generation." Yeah right. More like, "Pepsi: A brick." "Sega: Welcome to the next level." No no, it's, "Sega: Have another big red brick." "Nike: Just Do It." "Just throw a brick at it." You wouldn't strike a woman with a child, would you? No. I'd use a brick! Would you hit a man with glasses? No, I'd hit him with a brick!! Brick brick brick!!
Every product is the same damn thing! See them for what they are. Hard, square, and monochrome. Go to McBricks and eat some Chicken McBricks. Buy the latest album from The Brick. This rant is subtle and nuanced, like a BRICK. Buy our shoes, because you're sweaty and jockular, and that makes you hip and smart, just like this brick. DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN.
Mmm, think of it. The flat edges are warm in your hand. It's powdered with rock dust so you can grip it real nice. It's angry dissent in ageless material form. It doesn't fizz, beep, flash, or taste good, and you can't put it on. And you really don't need it. So throw it at something instead. There's no reason you should even pick it back up after you throw it.
April 4th, 2009
Garote is wearing a T-shirt that says ?SYNTAX ERROR on it. Do you:
Garote will occasionally bust out singing, or do a cheerful tap-dance, or make a stuffed animal walk and talk. In general, do random expressions of happiness make you:
Garote will also on rare occasions act child-like, like a lost kitten. He can only be this way around people he really trusts, because at the time he is very vulnerable. It's a mode of expression he absorbed from a previous relationship. When he acts this way, do you:
How do you feel about public displays of affection, in particular things like being suddenly kissed on the nose, or hugged, or swept off your feet?
Do you smoke?
You want to meet Garote after work. Do you suggest:
Garote says he needs some alone time. Do you:
Garote hates yelling in arguments. If you were disagreeing with him about something, would you:
Garote has an allergic reaction to certain kids of incense. It once knocked him to the floor for half a week with wicked asthma and coughing. Though he loves a good campfire, he doesn't like incense burning where he works or sleeps. What are your feelings about incense?
Garote can be in a very wide range of moods. He can be sad, ecstatic, content, confused, ticklish, interested, bored, lovey-dovey, quiet, stoic, happy, or angst-ridden. His default state is somewhere between content and interested. What's your range like, and what is your default state?
How do you feel about singing while driving?
Garote has a bunch of artistic friends that he values a lot. A writer, a composer, a filmmaker, a digital painter, etc. Would you consider yourself:
Garote will occasionally eat junk food. He will also occasionally eat piles of raw vegetables. Sometimes he will even eat both at the same time. Are you bothered by either?
You and Garote took one car to a concert, but were unable to sit together. You suddenly realize that you didn't make any plans about where to meet afterwards. When the concert ends, do you:
Garote misses his friends in Santa Cruz, and wants to drive and see them for a weekend. He asks if you want to come along, but you say no. He is gone for two days, and doesn't call. When he gets back, what are the very first words you say to him?