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Saturday, April 4th, 2009
12:32a - From 12 years ago:
More and more often these days I've been comparing things to bricks, or thinking about throwing bricks, to express my opinion of them. I think I'm turning dadaist.

"Pepsi, the choice of a new generation." Yeah right. More like, "Pepsi: A brick." "Sega: Welcome to the next level." No no, it's, "Sega: Have another big red brick." "Nike: Just Do It." "Just throw a brick at it." You wouldn't strike a woman with a child, would you? No. I'd use a brick! Would you hit a man with glasses? No, I'd hit him with a brick!! Brick brick brick!!

Every product is the same damn thing! See them for what they are. Hard, square, and monochrome. Go to McBricks and eat some Chicken McBricks. Buy the latest album from The Brick. This rant is subtle and nuanced, like a BRICK. Buy our shoes, because you're sweaty and jockular, and that makes you hip and smart, just like this brick. DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN.

Mmm, think of it. The flat edges are warm in your hand. It's powdered with rock dust so you can grip it real nice. It's angry dissent in ageless material form. It doesn't fizz, beep, flash, or taste good, and you can't put it on. And you really don't need it. So throw it at something instead. There's no reason you should even pick it back up after you throw it.

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3:58a - Dec 10, 2001: Poll Part 1
After recovering from my breakup in 2001 I was in a fanciful mood one day and decided I would construct a "date quiz", to screen potential dates. I had fun writing it, but I never actually used it.

Poll #1377887 Dec 10, 2001: I made a "relationship quiz"

Garote is wearing a T-shirt that says ?SYNTAX ERROR on it. Do you:

Get the reference and laugh
7(70.0%)
Ask what it means
2(20.0%)
Assume it's some "geek thing" and roll your eyes.
1(10.0%)

Garote will occasionally bust out singing, or do a cheerful tap-dance, or make a stuffed animal walk and talk. In general, do random expressions of happiness make you:

Glad
9(90.0%)
Jealous
0(0.0%)
Depressed
0(0.0%)
Hungry
1(10.0%)

Garote will also on rare occasions act child-like, like a lost kitten.  He can only be this way around people he really trusts, because at the time he is very vulnerable.  It's a mode of expression he absorbed from a previous relationship.  When he acts this way, do you:

Tell him to stop it because it's a "turn-off".
0(0.0%)
Act aloof and generally ignore him until he stops.
1(10.0%)
Pet him on the head or hug him.
8(80.0%)
Prepare to break up with him because you want "a real man".
1(10.0%)

How do you feel about public displays of affection, in particular things like being suddenly kissed on the nose, or hugged, or swept off your feet?

Nonplussed
2(20.0%)
Nervous
0(0.0%)
Horny
3(30.0%)
Good
5(50.0%)

Do you smoke?

No.
10(100.0%)

You want to meet Garote after work.  Do you suggest:

A coffee shop or restaurant.
1(10.0%)
A bar.
0(0.0%)
A library or bookstore.
4(40.0%)
A movie theatre.
0(0.0%)
Other _________
5(50.0%)

Garote says he needs some alone time.  Do you:

Angrily agree, and go pout in a corner, because it must mean he is thinking of breaking up with you.
0(0.0%)
Say alright, and find something else to do on your own, provided there's no emergency.
10(100.0%)
Try to convince him that he doesn't need "alone time" from you because you're his significant other.
0(0.0%)

Garote hates yelling in arguments.  If you were disagreeing with him about something, would you:

Try to keep your voice near a conversational pitch, though your emotions can get intense.
9(90.0%)
Talk nonstop so he has to interrupt you in order to say something, then chastise him for interrupting.
1(10.0%)
Ask him loaded questions, without waiting for a response, then escalate to yelling because you've alarmed yourself.
0(0.0%)
Clam up and say nothing, then yell about it spontaneously a week later.
0(0.0%)

Garote has an allergic reaction to certain kids of incense.  It once knocked him to the floor for half a week with wicked asthma and coughing.  Though he loves a good campfire, he doesn't like incense burning where he works or sleeps.  What are your feelings about incense?

Garote can be in a very wide range of moods.  He can be sad, ecstatic, content, confused, ticklish, interested, bored, lovey-dovey, quiet, stoic, happy, or angst-ridden.  His default state is somewhere between content and interested.  What's your range like, and what is your default state?

How do you feel about singing while driving?

Do it myself!
10(100.0%)
Too embarrassed.
0(0.0%)
If anyone in the car with me does it, I get extremely nervous.
0(0.0%)

Garote has a bunch of artistic friends that he values a lot.  A writer, a composer, a filmmaker, a digital painter, etc.  Would you consider yourself:

A practicing artist.
4(40.0%)
An occasional artist.
5(50.0%)
An appreciator of art.
1(10.0%)
Too utilitarian to really dig art.
0(0.0%)

Garote will occasionally eat junk food.  He will also occasionally eat piles of raw vegetables.  Sometimes he will even eat both at the same time. Are you bothered by either?

Yeah, junk food is evil!
0(0.0%)
Yeah, raw vegetables are gross!
0(0.0%)
At the same time?  You're SICK!!
1(10.0%)
Pardon?  I was too busy unwapping this chocolate bar.
9(90.0%)

You and Garote took one car to a concert, but were unable to sit together.  You suddenly realize that you didn't make any plans about where to meet afterwards.  When the concert ends, do you:

Stay where you are, waiting for the auditorium to clear up a little.
2(20.0%)
Hop out of your seat and wander around looking for Garote.
0(0.0%)
Wait at the entrance to the theatre.
3(30.0%)
Walk out of the theatre and wait by the car.
5(50.0%)

Garote misses his friends in Santa Cruz, and wants to drive and see them for a weekend.  He asks if you want to come along, but you say no.  He is gone for two days, and doesn't call.  When he gets back, what are the very first words you say to him?

"Why didn't you call?"
0(0.0%)
"You're seeing someone in Santa Cruz, aren't you?"
0(0.0%)
"Hi!!  Welcome back!"
10(100.0%)
"Would you mind staying out a few more days?  I've got a ... friend ... over. Heh heh."
0(0.0%)

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