La has been up this whole time. She came upstairs to bring me some water, and one of the chocolate muffins she just finished making. Chocolate chips and double the cocoa powder, mmmmmm! While she was up here we began talking, and the subject of division of labor in relationships came up, like so:
She said, "When I was younger, I was sometimes the more mature person in my relationships. When the relationship ended, it often felt like I had just been fixing them up for the next person."
I said, "Kinda like buying a house that's a fixer-upper, right? You get the place remodeled and comfortable and then..."
"Yeah, then someone else just swoops in and takes it. ... Luckily, then I found you. You were all ready to move in. It was like, all I needed to bring was my toothbrush."
"Really?" I said. "You didn't even need to install new curtains or anything?"
"Nope, just needed my toothbrush!"
I laughed. "But what about the way I'm bad at doing laundry? That's the equivalent of, like, a house needing better plumbing, right?"
"It doesn't really bother me. I can sort laundry half asleep; so I have no problem being the person who does it."
"But isn't that a little unfair?"
"Unfair? I think it's just a regular division of labor. When I have a computer problem that needs fixing, I bring it to you. You can fix it in five minutes, but it would take me hours. If you tried to sort the laundry..."
"Hah! I would have to ask, like, sixty questions."
"Huh. You know, for some reason it never occurred to me to compare doing laundry with fixing a computer."
And that's the truth, oddly enough. It never has. Probably because doing laundry is a regular chore - something that almost everyone does. Fixing a computer is a task that is more unique. It only comes up so often because La and I are heavy users of technology. And sure, I do it easily enough, but it's just a skill I happened to have, not one I cultivated as part of a desire to keep things "equal".
Anyway, before I could ponder this further, the subject moved on.
Our friend Evan and his housemate recently mentioned that they wanted to learn how to make La's delicious yellow curry. She suggested that the easiest way for them to learn was to come over some night and watch us prepare it. "After all," she said, "That's the way Kashy learned. She knows how to make my curry because she's spent more than two years hanging out with me in the kitchen."
"Mmmmm, curry." I said. "You know what we haven't had in a while is green curry. Do we have the ingredients for that?"
"Yes... Oh my gosh! You know what would be perfect in a green curry? Those mustard greens we have in the fridge! And that broccoli!"
And 45 minutes later, we had curry.
What's your favorite color of curry?
What are your favorite vegetables in a curry?
What's your favorite vegan-style protein in a curry (if any)?
What's your fondest memory of eating curry?