Garrett (garote) wrote,
Garrett
garote

"Most adolescent journals were awful when they were ON PAPER. And if you wanted to show your best friend something, maybe she wouldn't laugh at you. Honey, if read some of the crap that I wrote when I was, like, twelve ... you would have no idea how I turned out to be me. Seriously, it was all blood and guts and crushing skulls and hearts and flowers." -beloved

SHOULD YOUR LIVEJOURNAL BE AVOIDED?

Score one point for each violation. Get three points or more, and the answer is YES.

Livejournals to avoid:

  1. Anyone complaining at length about their PARENTS
  2. Anyone who posts more than twice a day.
  3. Anyone soliciting "donations" with an [expletive] PayPal icon.
  4. Anyone who averages more than one quiz result a week, unless THEY WROTE THE QUIZ.
  5. Anyone who always turns the contrast WAY UP on their webcam, icon, or photos to make themselves look like a pale goth or [expletive] Gwen Stefani. (What, you think you're sexier with no nose? Is that it!?)
  6. Anyone with an LJ icon that:
    A. Is [expletive] animated faster than 2fps
    B. Shows their [expletive] cleavage. (GIRLS OR GUYS. Your BOOBIES are NOT SPECIAL.)
    C. Is a picture of their favorite rock star. On that note:
  7. Anyone who POSTS SONG LYRICS more than ONE STANZA LONG.
  8. Anyone who posts poetry that they claim is a "rough draft". (Hint: Rough drafts of poetry belong in either a private folder until they are done, or in THE TRASH.)
  9. Anyone who posts poetry that contains the phrase "liquid cosmic gone". (As my friend put it: "wtf is she like a geeky joni mitchell?")
  10. Anyone who posts an excerpt from an online chat without editing it for clarity.
  11. Anyone who lists their mood as "bouncy" (Unless they are actually BOUNCING UP AND DOWN)
  12. Anyone who, without irony, abbreviates "Oh My God" to "OMG" in a post.
  13. Anyone who doesn't know what paragraphs are.
  14. Anyone who constantly posts pictures of:
    A. WHAT THEY ARE EATING (The name 'giggles' comes to mind here)
    B. Themselves in an erotic or suggestive pose, and then DENIES that they are "cam-whoring".
    C. Pictures of their EX-girlfriend or boyfriend.
  15. Anyone YOU used to date, then had a bad breakup with.
  16. Anyone whose bio page contains the phrase, "I'm an alpha female, a mama wolf." (Get the hell over yourself.)
  17. Anyone with a tiled picture for a background, that is also ANCHORED to the top of the browser window
  18. Anyone who feels the need to publicly apologize for altering their "friends list".
  19. Anyone who complains, EVER, that they are not getting "enough" comments, or being ignored. There may be reasons!
  20. Anyone who doesn't list 'The Braindead Monkeys' as a favorite band

So, how'd you all score? Don't worry, with practice and hard work, you too can turn your LJ into a journal to be avoided!

   _.:::.
  /o''    '''./)
  >\.))...''' \)
"I think the thing to be aware of, when hanging out with _____, is that just under the surface, she's always doing something: Proving to herself that she is great. Every now and then, you may get the feeling that you are just a prop in a play she puts on for her own internal audience."

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